q: what do garbage men eat?
a: garbage!

credit cards

the boys are playing something rough involving pillows in the other room while we clean up from dinner.
ralph: i have a credit caaaaaaard!
lionel: i have ten thousand credit cards... and they're all cut up!

ralph (to jenny): if i could just have three pets i would want them to be a moth, a worm, and a cricket.
brian wolfe (overhearing): ralph, we can make that happen for you!

lionel: oh sweet mother of mercy!  that's what you say, sweet mother of mercy.
ralph: what about midnight? it has storms.
lionel: not storms, snores!
ralph: i saw it on qubo.
both: moooooooooom!
lionel: ralph, let me tell you something, sometimes rupert is not true.
ralph: i'm not listening!

tuesdays with ralphie

while making oatmeal cookies, lionel was naked.  ralph 'slapped' him on his sweet buns:
lionel: mom!  ralph slapped me on my B-U-T-T
mom: ralph, time out.  take some time to think about what you have done.
(5 minutes)
mom: ralph, do you know why you were in time out?
ralph: (whispers) yes.
mom: tell me about it.
ralph: i slapped lionel on his T-O-A-R.  (he can't spell)

ralph: mom!  mr. tuohey was lying that we eat thomasita (the hamster in his classroom.)  because she is cute and i don't want to eat her!

ralph: (singing a song by the dameans) spefor, are you listening?
actual words: speak, Lord!  i'm listening.

levels

lionel is on the couch playing on the ipod telling us all about his levels when he is interrupted by ralph.
ralph: i am SO going to ground him! (his balloon from "short clips" named strucula)
dad: what does it mean to ground somebody?  is it when you keep them on the ground?
ralph: no, it's when you get mad at them and then you get happy at someone else and, and....
lionel: no it's not, ralph!  it's when you get sent to your bed for a day or a week or...
cecelia: (from the other room, doing a book report) ...or a month.

lionel is singing loudly and baritone-y.
dad: lionel, why are you singing oferetto?
ralph: it's ofra, dad.
lionel: who is alfred?
cecelia: it's opera!
ralph: no, it's not!  it's OFRA!!

dreams

ralph: uh, dad!  i'm going to dream about things that i like tonight. like nice insects, dressing up, fun stuff!
dad: fun stuff like what?
ralph: uh, i forgot.

lionel: hey guys!  cecelia's allergic to soup!   (he means addicted!)

tonight jonathan and i looked at professional pics taken from the weekend celebration of the first 100 years of rockhurst.  his favorite picture is of four people we encounter pretty regularly who have no idea who we are!  (tee hee)