knock, knock...

who's there?

cowp (or: imep)

cow-poo (im a poo)

tee hee

lionel cracks up, EVERY time, making the hole in his mouth even more prominent.

dad! dad! dad, i sawl a beetle and he was so cute and nice and he thought i was going to kill him but i wasn't i was just going to pet him. (ralph)

lionel's response to controversy stirred by ralph about WHO broke ralph's ship: what do you think i am, ralph, an octopus? i can't do three things at once!

i think you're a stupid kid (gasp!)

i think you're a mean brother.

at dinner at blanc burger with dad and cecelia (who ordered salads and burgers) lionel ordered the hotdog with seasonal, sliced fruit and dipping sauce... just like that, using all those words!

well, we are packed and ready for camp! i can hardly believe it. my dad bought us battery powered fans and batteries, just in case the two industrial-strength fans i bought last year don't work. we loaded a few items into his car and plan on meeting him for breakfast at bob evans. the kids are so excited. ralph danced and jumped and rolled his little brains out all over the living room.

ralph went to a birthday party tonight for his good friend, will. he marched right in and inserted himself in the middle of a familial embrace being shared with will and his aunt or grandmother or something and patted will on the head (will's hair is crazier than ralph's or lionel's!) the two wrapped their arms around each other as his family exclaimed, "oh! this is Ralph!!" when dad went in to pick ralph up, he was sitting in a booth by himself with two bags of candy, countless pieces of ice cream cake, and a giant lollipop. he looked up and said, "oh. hi dad." he had the time of his life and immediately shared all his treats with his siblings.

cecelia, currently, is sitting on her bed making up card games. like 'even/odd' where you put the two's in one pile and the three's in another... in order! it's really hard. and weird. her words. thank god jonathan spent much of his single years collecting decks of cards! we have three little cardsharks trying their best to sleep, despite the excitement of camp looming!

we had a delightful visit with fr. christian today. he came to see jonathan, discuss their book, and stayed for lunch with ralph and the girls. he is a pretty interesting character. and pretty entertained by my assignment to witness for spirituality at the next CRHP weekend. he actually laughed when he heard! i was slightly more than slightly offended. but i got over it.

i ran 9 miles this morning. i had planned on 12. i JUST couldn't do it! too humid. my headache just went away about 1/2 hour ago. i think i need some sleep.

good night!

good friends are hard to come by

difficult times these days. but i have learned it's the simple things that really matter. today i made a request that was uncomfortable for me to tackle. it turned jonathan's frown upside-down. i also realized what a good, good friend we have in patrick. he came by while i was drowning in my tears, quietly listened to my concerns, and cried with me. then he made me laugh and took my husband to dinner.

we ran some errands while daddy went to dinner with mr. tuohey. mema's house to return tupperware, target to buy cecelia some face soap and running shoes (and maybe a few other "important" items... like 62cent cars) and then to mary's house to drop off some forgotten movies. lionel promptly unbuckled to get out and pet the dog (his FAVORITE thing to do) and promptly pitched a fit when i told him "no." so mr. hart beckoned the dog to the car so lionel could pet her and she promptly jumped in the car! it made everyone's night.

tonight, after bath time, cecelia requested one of my shirts to wear as PJs. one of my occupational therapy shirts! i was so proud.

other than the heartache of the culmination of our fighting, the day was pretty benign and i'm GLAD it's over!

g'nite!

stream of consciousness conversations at the klem house

ralph: that ambliance is empty. it's not going anywhere, it's just empty but its home is in the hospital. i MEAN i'm talking about the hospital where cecelia went to. MOM! daddy poured water over my head and i was brave! i'm brave about shampooing and water over my head, but i'm NOT brave about real live monsters that live under my bed and in the closet. i thought i was going to throw up in the house, but i wasn't. we're going to watch sord in the stone, where the girl squirrel loves the boy squirrel! daddy's hooking up the vcr! jonahhhhhh, was swallowed by a whale. jonahhhhh was swallowed by a shark whale, it actually was a shark whale.

lionel: speaking of sord in the stone, remember when the fat squirrel loved the boy squirrel or whatever, or....

cecelia: lionel! want me to take a bath with you and not be rough and talk about card games? mama, do you mind if lionel and i take a bath together and talk about card games? we promise we won't be rough.

lionel: (whispering) what did she say?

i am just sitting here typing conversations as they occur while i wait for our kids to take their baths. they are cute. i love that i get to witness these things.

three smooth criminals

so i'm sitting here listening to lionel and ralph argue as to whether or not it's okay that ralph likes the smooth criminal (ralph: geez, lionel! i'm just sayin' i like the smooth criminal, alright? lionel: fine! whatever!) and cecelia humming the tune of 'wiggle it.' (i stomp my feet. i boogey to the beat. i turn around. i touch the ground. i wig-gle it... just a little bit!) thanking my lucky stars that my kids are cute, funny, interesting human beans. ralph is trying desperately to keep lionel awake. lionel is trying desperately to ignore ralph so he can go to sleep. this is the time of night i really love, hearing their little selves settling, their little voices winding down, their little body movements slowing to an eventual stop. then ralph's feet hit the floor and he RUNS to tell us something very important/about his growing pains/his headache/his stomach/his plans for tomorrow/about broken promises to lay with him (that were never made, by the way.) i came home from my run to three little angels in our bed, cecelia holding court reading to them about dodger and oliver. they are really good to each other. i love that. i love to think about them being close as they get older, being close and continuing to be good to each other as adults. how blessed we are!

my God moments... explained

as i lay here, unable to sleep, i am thinking about all of my most recent thoughts. i have had many 'God moments' as they are called by our CRHP people. today, i came to many realizations. i began to think about my many many blessings in life. not things, or people, or anything tangible... true blessings. the moments when i can understand life as i know it, or see people's souls, or my own, even. numerous times this weekend, i had moments filled with such joy and ABSOLUTE happiness true and pure. in these moments, all of my insecurities and self-worth/self-esteem issues disappeared, not because, for a moment, they no longer existed, but for a moment, they didn't matter. they had nothing to do with my life. i began to realize that this life, with all its grace, is not all about being worthy of anything, or anybody, or even of God. this life and this precious, indescribable gift of grace is all about the goodness of our loving God. i was trying to explain it, with some success i think, to jonathan in terms of our relationship to our children. cecelia, for example, is such a good sweet being; but, regardless of her goodness and her sweetness, all i want for her is joy. no matter what she does, or doesn't do, the only thing i would like to give to her, to create for her is moments like i have had the blessing to experience this weekend. the pleasure i experience in her moments of contentment, as well as her moments of excited joy, is heaven to me. i get the feeling that that what this life is all about for God. That is greatest adoration we can give to our Lord. whether or not i deserve my lot in life (which is about as perfect as it can be these days. i have learned to take the bad with the good, the bad drives the pleasure i receive from the good) enjoying life on earth is the most divine form of worship available to us. the story of Job demonstrates it perfectly, if you can read it with an open mind. it took me a few tries of reading and thinking before i got it and when i did, i realized that all these pieces of knowledge given to me about God and life and love have been compartmentalized in my understanding of them, only today did i begin to understand the interrelated quality of them. our life, our love, our God is not all about pieces of understanding coming together like pieces of a puzzle to form one big picture, they are more like ingredients to a delicious cake. there are eggs, flour, sugar... all pieces that form a cake, but mixed together without boundaries to blossom into a wonderful cake. these pieces of understanding that i receive all come together, without boundaries to form a wonderful, wonderful whole. it's not about deserved happiness, it's not about worthiness, or working for a dream, it's about enjoying all the things God made. if i think too much more, i'll not only get lost, but my head will start to hurt. so there it is... life as i know it today, july 25, 2010. let's hope i can hang onto this!

no more tricycles

last night, we put a perfect end to a perfect day. we had a "block party" in the shops behind us. the yoga place was having a balloon artist making balloons for the kids. the new gallery hired a rock band to play. it was definitely a party. we were not too thrilled about the prospect of having a rock band playing until 10PM right behind our house, but to make the most of it, we partied at susan's. we all donned our swimming best and played and played and played. the evening was full of finding toys with flashing lights in susan's pool, innertube races, and varying jumping styles (jackknife, corkscrew, cannonball.)

today was full of moments of grace. jonathan recently taught me about grace, what it is and how to have it. through his book, the faith explained, he has learned so much and consequently, taught me so much about our faith. grace, as i see it, is a lot like the lives you start out with in a video game, with each bad decision made, grace takes a hit. the awesome thing about it is, with every good decision, your grace is replenished. as long as you can keep learning from your mistakes and protecting your grace, you go on living your life that you have built and making it to the next level. (unlocking levels, as lionel says.)

we made it to mass, a bit late, but better late than never. after mass, jonathan and cecelia went on a father-daughter excursion to the nelson-atkins museum of art to discover the joy and beauty of photography through their latest exhibit. they did a little exploring through the older parts of the art gallery as well. meanwhile, the boys had a bit of quiet time while i worked (not so diligently) on my lecture. i'll admit i had to take a few breaks. during one of them, i taught lionel how to play solitaire. seeing his little mind at work as he learned how to play, and eventually succeed was pretty amazing. i finally finished and had such a sense of accomplishment, i think, because it is the last lecture i actually have to write starting from scratch. the first cycle is complete and from now on i can recycle my old lectures, with just a nip here, a tuck there. after jonathan and cecelia returned, lionel's quiet time was over, and he demonstrated his newfound knowledge to cecelia (who couldn't care less.) jonathan put together a delicious and nutritious dinner. we sat as a family and ate, something we haven't done for at least a week. :(

the weather was absolutely perfect! which made for a mind open to thanksgiving all weekend long. after dinner, we went up to the school a few blocks away and rode bikes. cecelia on hers, lionel on his new (ORANGE!) two-wheeler, and ralph on his 'new' hot wheels bike with training wheels. i asked ralph how he got to be so big, he answered, quite earnestly, "i grew up!" i cried. ralph's running commentary all the way to and from the school was pretty entertaining and enlightening (did you have any idea that there are good lightening bugs and bad ones? the bad ones are all black and have stingers. jondavid told him so. and sometimes they light up at night, but never during the day, although they still are out during the day and night.... and so on.) lionel was apprehensive at first, but dad was there behind him all the way. eventually jonathan let go and whoosh! lionel was off! cecelia was racing circles around all of us. that's speed! and extreme! according to ralph. jonathan told me that on the way home, he asked if anyone needed help. at first, cecelia said no thanks. eventually after much repetition, cecelia said, "if you really want to help, you can push my bike home. i didn't want you to push it when you asked me before because i saw a bead of sweat on your forehead. i thought you were too hot and tired. but now you seem like you really want to push someone's bike, so you can push my bike home, dad." her perfect little soul is really shining as she grows.

well a shower ought to do me for now. until tomorrow, sweet dreams!

good afternoon! i am supposed to be writing my lecture, but i am distracted. at church today, they had the choir sing more contemporary songs, not christian rock, but more contemporary than the traditional, conservative music we have. there is a song called breathe by michael w. smith that my sister and i have always enjoyed that they sang today. i have had my newest assignment for our next CRHP weekend on my mind lately, more so now that i know what it is. i will be speaking on spirituality, i am unsure of myself and beginning to doubt that i am the best person for the job, but i welcome a challenge from the holy spirit. anyway, one of the things we are responsible to do as witnesses is have a song relating to our story. this song has been in my life a long time and when i think about the message, it seems to fit. reminding me what i am supposed to do, why i have been chosen is unimportant. if i can, i'll post the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZnuSK9NB_8

more later as the day wears on...

Jonathan here. Here's what Ellen just said in her sleep (after the tooth fairy paid a visit to Lionel at 11:32 pm): "Where did he go?" I replied, "Who's that?" Ellen explained, "Our son. I keep thinking we have a 21-year-old son, and he climbed out of bed and into the trash. And then I open my eyes, and there's no son and no trash. I know that sounds dumb. I can't break it, though!"

here is lionel's newest hole in his mouth.

good afternoon, again! just writing a bit about last night. before we went out on a quick family outing, i took cecelia and lionel to old navy to take advantage of my teacher's discount. lionel REALLY wanted this batman t-shirt, but knew he was size S, and he could only find Ls. so he marched right up to the counter and asked the guy behind the counter to find him an S. after much searching, the man came up with an M from the back, no S. lionel wanted so badly to have it, but first... he needed to know if it was on sale. the man checked and it was! rejoice! lionel asked me if i could just let him have an M and he could just wear it a bit big. how could i say no to such determination? these are the values we teach and try to act out, ourselves. his perseverence paid off, he hasn't taken it off for 24 hours now! then, we headed to crown center and met up with the weidlers for a little interactive Clifford the big red dog action. kind of fun, although geared more towards the 3-5 bunch. then the boys all went home and cecelia, lainey, and i stayed and watched 'julie and julia' on the lawn above the skating rink. the girls had fun feeling so grown up staying up late and eating popcorn while watching a 'parent' movie. we ran into a nurse who used to work at BSP that i was friendly with, julia, and the girls thought it was so cool to talk to someone with the same name as is in the movie. cecelia was REALLY appreciative and loving. very helpful as well, insisting upon carrying the lawn chairs and the keys to the car, sitting/snuggling on my lap, multiple thank-yous, a lot of snack sharing. she is really growing up into a caring and sweet girl. i see a lot of myself in her, even her incessant apologizing and bending over backwards for her favorite people. i would say that i don't want her to inherit all of my insecurities, but i think they have made me a better, stronger person. they are really not debilitating at all... now my faults are a different story and, i'm sure, wrapped up in the insecurities, but that's a different story altogether.

jonathan told me when i got home that upon arriving home, themselves, lionel took some time to teach him how to play some card games. he kept repeating, "i just want you to have a good time, dad. i just want you have fun and to like playing these games." later on in the night, he was sure ralph was awake because he was CRACKING UP!!! when jonathan went to investigate, ralph was fast asleep, laughing in his sleep. i love that! a sure sign of a happy kid living a joyful childhood!

today we went, in 90 degree weather, to a park for emma brown's birthday and ran into an old grade school friend, patrick fanning. a nerdy little brain, but friendly as can be! that was kind-of fun. he insists cecelia is built just like me. lionel was busy making friends with a sweet little year, year and a half old girl. he is a sweet boy who really tries to be good in all things. he works hard to exemplify the rule of the klem house: care!

now i lay on the red couch on the landing at the top of our steps listening to the kids humming either star wars or indianan jones themes while having a bit of 'quiet time.' :)

lionel lost his front tooth! he was very courageous in his fight against the roots of his tooth. finally, he let dad pull on it a little. at the first pinch of pain, lionel stepped back (this tooth has been LOOOOONG in coming out) and lo and behold! the tooth was on his tongue. his face was just priceless: fear, pride, and happiness all at once. what a boy! i'm sitting here lounging in the breeze created by the wind formed by his breath being pushed out of the new hole created by the loss of such an important tooth.

all in all, a happy day!

good afternoon! i'm not really writing for an audience as much as for myself, at this point. just thought maybe a bit of journaling might be beneficial to me at this time in my life where i feel i have so many balls in the air i can't imagine keeping track of all of them, or any of them until one or more drop...